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notalwaysright_feed
Customer: "What accent is that? Are you British?"
Me: "German, actually, although I do try to speak in a neutral accent when I can."
Customer: "German, eh? You sure you're qualified to look at my car?"
notalwaysright_feedRead Cash Back Attack, Part 25
She hands me a $20 bill, which I tender as cash, and then instructs her to swipe her card for the rest.
She then swipes her card and says:
Customer: "Oh, I need cash back."
scalziwhatever_feed
Very different from the last View From a Hotel Window I posted, seeing that one was from Venice, Italy. This one is greener, though. And has a parking lot! Very few of those in Venice, I have to say.
Why am I here? Because of the Big Ohio Book Con, where Tochi Onyebuchi and I are in conversation tomorrow at 12:30, followed by us both signing books. If you are in the vicinity of Medina, OH tomorrow, come down and see us (the book festival is also happening today! Right now! As I write this!). If you’re not in the vicinity of Medina, Ohio today or tomorrow, well, try to have a good time anyway.
— JS
icanhascheezburger_feedWhen the weekend rolls around, cats flip their internal "Do Not Disturb" switch like pros and we're all just a little bit jealous. These furry masters of chill go full-on DND mode, meaning "Definitely Not Doing anything except napping." They snooze with the kind of dedication that would put even the best weekend binge-watchers to shame.
Try to get their attention, and you'll get the classic slow blink or the tail flick. Basically, the feline way of saying, "Back off, hooman. This is my weekend nap marathon." They're not interested in playtime, zoomies, or being your personal therapist. Nope, they just want uninterrupted snooze sessions, the kind of deep, cozy sleep that recharges their nine lives for the week ahead.
Honestly, isn't that how we all want to spend our weekends? No calls, no meetings, just pure, blissful rest. So when your cat goes into weekend DND mode, take a hint: it's time to paws, relax, and embrace your inner cat nap champion. Because sometimes, the best weekend plan is no plan at all. Just lots of sleep and zero disturbances.
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notalwaysright_feedRead Not So Selfless Self-Serve
Customer: "Excuse me. It says toppings are included by weight, right?"
Me: "Right. Whatever you add gets weighed at the register."
Customer: "So technically, I could fill a cup with just gummy bears and pay for that?"
icanhascheezburger_feedSome cats are couch potatoes, and others are full-blown TV addicts. Whether it's a bird documentary, a fish tank livestream, or your favorite drama, these curious kitties are hooked and they're not shy about it. One moment they're loafing quietly, the next they're locked in on the screen like it's the Pawramount Network.
You'll catch them perched like little critics, tails flicking, eyes wide, tracking every squirrel, bird, or suspicious-looking villain. Some even paw at the screen, convinced they can catch whatever's moving. And if the TV isn't on? Expect judgmental glares and a few well-timed meows until the nightly program returns.
Of course, not every cat is into the action. Some are in it for the ambiance. A glowing box to nap beside while pretending they aren't secretly following the plot of Meow in the City. But for those who are obsessed? They're the true binge-watchers, watching 12 hours straight without blinking. Take that, Netflix.
So if your remote's gone missing or your TV has tiny nose smudges all over it… just know your feline film critic has entered their entertainment era.
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icanhascheezburger_feedRescuing a kitten can be somewhat of a double-edged sword. Now before we get into that we want to preface that statement with the fact that all animals deserve to live and be happy and rescued if they need it. But when you rescue a kitten, you without meaning to will go from having a helpless soul who needs to be fed, burped and cleaned constantly, to having a frenetic feline roaming your house, assuming they own every single inch.
And it will happen in the blink of an eye, one morning you will wake up, and your house will be upside down, with a cat looking at you curiously from amongst the mess, as though to say "Wow, how did all this happen? I'm just as shocked as you, I was sleeping over there and then suddenly this". Which is pretty much what happened to the hooman who bravely rescued a kitten from the side of the road.
icanhascheezburger_feedWelcome, loyal subjects of the Feline Empire. If you're here, it means you've accepted your royal duties as a devoted servant to your cat meownarch. You may pay the rent, but let's be honest, your cat owns the house. Every windowsill is their throne. Every cardboard box is their private carriage. And every 3 AM zoomies are a royal wake-up call.
You didn't choose the cat servant life - the Cat Distribution System chose it for you. And now, your life revolves around offering fancy feasts, opening and closing doors on command, and providing daily belly rubs only when requested and never when offered.
But you know what? We serve with purride. Because when our glorious feline rulers grace us with a head boop or a cozy nap on our lap, we melt into grateful puddles of joy. So take a moment from scrubbing the royal litter box and enjoy this giggle-worthy collection of cat memes honoring the sacred art of cat servitude.
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notalwaysright_feed(We’re in Italian language class, practicing conversation. One of the students has a strong broad Australian accent.) Student: How do you say friends? Teacher: Ah amici. Student: No, friends! Teacher: Amici! Student: No, how do you say friends?! (The teacher is just staring at her in confusion at this point. I’ve finally figured it out.) […]
notalwaysright_feedRead When Thunder Road Hits A Roadblock
Manager: "How many songs can you fit on an iPod?"
Me: "The ten, twenty, and forty gigabyte options hold about 2500, 5000, and 10,000 songs respectively."
Manager: "That can't be right!"
notalwaysright_feedRead H2-Ugh
Customer: "Excuse me, I just tried the water fountain near the yoga room and the water tastes... metallic."
Manager: "Oh, yeah, that one’s connected to the older plumbing line. Still safe to drink, just not filtered like the bottle-filling station over here."
Customer: "Well, that’s not acceptable. I shouldn’t have to hunt for decent water in a facility I pay for!"
Read H2-Ugh
notalwaysright_feedRead Careful… Kids Can See The Real You
I work in a pottery painting studio inside a children's museum (not a DIY studio, this one is staff-run and curated, mainly for school trips).
A dad is standing at the counter with his son, holding a ceramic frog with uneven globs of blue paint all over it.
Dad: "This looks… like something exploded in a Smurf factory. Can we just have one of the staff repaint it before it’s fired?"
icanhascheezburger_feedBeing a cat pawrent is one of life's greatest joys, and greatest mysteries. One moment your feline overlord is napping peacefully in a sunbeam, and the next moment they're sprinting across the house at 3 AM like a tiny fluffy tornado chasing invisible ghosts. And we just accept it. We don't question it. We simply say, "Yes, Your Meowjesty," and move on.
Because being a cat pawrent means your furniture is now a scratching post, your keyboard is a bed, and your privacy is gone. If you close the door on a cat, they will act like you've committed high treason. And when they do choose to snuggle you - that's royalty bestowing affection, and you should feel honored.
All this chaos and cattitude is exactly why cats are prime meme material. Every cat is a purring punchline with cutie patootie toe beans. These memes perfectly capture the highs, the lows, the late-night zoomies, and the internal meownologues that make up the glorious experience of being a cat pawrent.
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icanhascheezburger_feedAnother week has come to a close, friends, and yes, we know it's been a long one, a difficult one, but that does not mean that we cannot close it and start the weekend on the right paw. That does not mean that we cannot have the best weekend. And there is only one thing that we need to make sure that happens, which is why you are all here. Because every single week, we bring you a brand new edition of the ICHC cat meowgazine.
Here, we put together the best of the best of the week for you guys. We bring you our favorite cat tweets of the week, the funniest cat memes that we could find, and the most wholesome and heartwarming cat stories - to hit all the important emotions. To make sure that you both smile and laugh first thing in the meowrning. You know it works. That's why you're here. So, enjoy this, friends, and have a fantabulous weekend!
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icanhascheezburger_feedIf you have ever introduced one cat to another, then you know all the worries that come along with doing that. There is no guarantee that your cats will like each other, there's no guarantee that they will bond, certainly not right away. We worry about their mental well-being as well as possible aggression that they might show one another. If you do it right, if you let your cats meet slowly, gradually, with supervision, then chances are that your cats will become friends, even if it will take a minute.
Sometimes though, you don't need to worry at all. Some cats are meant to be friends. Some cats are just twin lost souls wandering the earth, waiting to meet one another. We call these cats bonded pairs. And once they find each other, whether it's as kittens, or as it was in this case - with one of the cats being a fully-grown adult and the other being an itty bitty kitten, they may never be separated again.
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notalwaysright_feedRead We Could Never Understand Why They Refuse To Understand
Me: "I will be assisting you with the issue, and anytime you feel like you don't understand me, you can stop me right there and ask me to repeat, I'll be more than happy to—"
Customer: *Cutting me off.* "—Yeah, you can help me out, but are you American?"
Me: "No, I am not."
Customer: "Well, then I am afraid I don't understand you. Bye."
Read We Could Never Understand Why They Refuse To Understand
notalwaysright_feedRead Mixed Smoke Signals
In the UK, when I was a kid (born in the 70s here), it was common for kids to be able to buy cigarettes. In fact, it was common for adults to send their kids to the local shop with a shopping list, with cigarettes being a common item among them.
I recall overhearing my older brother come home from being sent to the shops by my dad:
Read Mixed Smoke Signals
icanhascheezburger_feedThere are several features of cats that we find purrticularly appealing, feline fam. The first of which is airplane ears. We can't help it - it is probably the cutest "annoyed" look in the whole animal kingdom. Why evolution chose to make them look so silly when they are angry is beyond us, but we love it. The second, and probably the best feature, is toe beans. They make up every purrfect paw of every cat, and when it comes to toe beans, the more the merrier.
There are certain cats that are born with more-than-average beans per paw, and these cats are called "polydactyl cats". However, we stumbled across the king of beans today - a man with more beans than he knows what to do with - and he's right below. This orange maine coon cat below was born with 26 toes and 2 dew claws, giving him 28 toes in total - tying him for the record number of toes on a cat in the whole world. Take a peak at his numerous beans below!
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notalwaysright_feed - Don’t Be Such A Dummkopficanhascheezburger_feed - Fur always wins.icanhascheezburger_feed - Always Happensnotalwaysright_feed - Cash Back Attack, Part 25scalziwhatever_feed - View From a Hotel Window, 6/28/25: Medina, OHicanhascheezburger_feed - 22 Memes of Caturday Cats Who Are On DND (Deep Nap Duty)notalwaysright_feed - Not So Selfless Self-Serveicanhascheezburger_feed - 21 Purrfect Pictures of Cats Curled Up for Catflix and Chillicanhascheezburger_feed - This kitten had no pulse, no cry, no strength—now she’s a loud, bossy ball of love who owns the coucicanhascheezburger_feed - 23 Feline Funnies for the Ones Who Serve Their Cat Meownarchs With Purridenotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - When Thunder Road Hits A Roadblocknotalwaysright_feed - H2-Ughnotalwaysright_feed - Careful… Kids Can See The Real Youicanhascheezburger_feed - 25 Purrfect Cat Memes Describing Your Cat Pawrent Experienceicanhascheezburger_feed - Your Weekly Caturday Meowgazine: 20 Most Iconic 'I Can Has Meowments' From Silliest to Sincerely Souicanhascheezburger_feed - 'My male cat accepted the kitten like his own': Person adopts an orange kitten that looks like a purnotalwaysright_feed - We Could Never Understand Why They Refuse To Understandnotalwaysright_feed - Mixed Smoke Signalsicanhascheezburger_feed - Unique maine coon cat born with record 28 toes, goes viral for his meowgical mutation and rare servi![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
timeasmymeasure
